One more day to live. I sit down to write about myself, my feelings, what is going on in my life in these days. I am observing the beauty in the photo I am sharing with you today and suddenly a wave of thoughts flood my mind, so many, that my fingers are unable to follow their speed and turn them into written sentences. I am going to focus, otherwise I will diverge from the subject and I will be the only one able to understand what I am talking about.!
Life is a pure gift
Life is a pure gift, if so we want to see it. Just the other week I had the privilege to visit the amazing city of Oporto. Reason? I drove my son Pablo there to start his Erasmus, to start his almost totally independent life and to start a new chapter of mine as well. It is much easier to digest the first event than the second. And why is that? For a very simple reason; even though there are a few exceptions, in general, here in Spain, we are very used to tell ourselves senteces like this “ I have a life too, apart from taking care of my children and see them growing..” but in reality, the story is very different. Things change in the blink of an eye; we change our plans as soon as our children approach us asking..” What are you doing mum..? In case you have nothing to do it would be amazing if you could drive me to the Uni. I have organised to study there with some friends and I am running very late..”
Time to fly
I go back to the photo: the grandeur of the Duero´s river, a large mass of water, where everything flows as life does. A process that comes and goes, new levels of awareness that leave behind many things that do not correlate to us nor to the full development of our children anymore...time for them to fly with their own wings and for me to fly too, higher than before, letting it go, in a flash. The traditional patterns, those false concepts made me believe that the EMOTIONAL DETACHMENT is the behaviour of a bad person, is that feeling you are a bad mother or a bad father if you are not totally focused day and night on your children…just a moment… Let me refrase it and ask myself the following question: Maybe is easier to live our life focused on other people´s necessities, to care for them and leave our responsibility on the side in order to avoid asking directly to ourselves what are my necessities and how do I chose to live my life?
Now it is my turn
This situation is very common and it has been described in psychology as the EMPTY NEST SYNDROME…check it out..!..whoever thought about this definition deserves all the respect nontheless it gives me chills. Apart from this, which has not got so much importance, it is totally true, the definition expresses very well that EXISTENCIAL EMPTINESS felt by the parents. A feeling with greater impact if we have not prepared along the way for this moment so to be able to turn the situation around and said out loud “ Now it is my turn..” Everything else is a simple desire to play the role of HELPLESS EMOTIONAL VICTIMS which at this stage of the movie ( we are all around half century old) and with children of this age, is defenitly out of place.
Everything comes and goes
The treatment for this EMOTIONAL STATE: live for yourself, enjoy your time, re-create yourself and kwon yourself better…NOW there are no more excuses..now you cannot hide behind anyone else…now you are totally with yourself, it is the time to check if you are happy with your life, as it is, as you have structured it; maybe it is the perfect moment to RE-ADJUST a lot about yourself, about your surroundings. Who knows if you have realised life is short, the children have now grown up and you come to terms that EVERYTHING COMES AND GOES..At best it is time to live your Erasmus, do not take me wrong, I am not suggesting you have to go party all night long as if there was not a tomorrow. I am talking about LIVING THE PRESENT FULLY AND MINDFULLY, whatever YOU CHOOSE TO, open yourself to the new, re-designed the new period that life has offered you like AN OPPORTUNITY TO START AGAIN.
The choice is in your hands…What is your point of view, how do you want to see it? Oporto city offers you two sides of the river; it is said that without these two different positions the beauty of Douro river would not be complete. You have given great dosis of dedications and constance to lead them so far.. Are you ready to swim to the other side of the river and fullfill yourself ? Enjoy the journey.