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20 year is nothing

20 año no es nada

The new post of my blog starts paraphrasing Gardel´s beautiful tango “ Volver”. This is a very intimate space and I am thrilled to share this with you,it is based on facts so real like life itself.

Early this morning, while I was opening the drawer of one of my piece of furniture in the sitting room, a picture caught my attention. A picture I had not seen for ages ( the one on the right). Mamma mia…it has been soo long! By pure chance..another picture of the past suddenly pops up in my mind ( the picture on the left). I look for it and decide to put it next to the other like a collage. I keep staring at the older picture; a time of my life I did not mind revealing my age; in a snap of a finger I am taken to my mental archive…unbelivable! In a blink my long term memory transports me to some real moments in that space, very close to my thirties. I was in full decade´s change; it usually happens to me every decade ( or so I have been noticing)I was in the full swing, ready to make life changing decisions both at personal and professional level.

Balance-In, the method

I kept flying back to that stage of my life for a long while. It is simply unbelievable how our mental programmings work. It was enough just to press a simple visual button ( the picture) to revive so cleraly and vividly scenes from the past, people, perfumes, like if I was living in a film and the old me was the main actor. As you can inmagine I bumped into some very pleasant memories and some not pleasant at all…This was more than enough to put in action my daily method “focus on what you do not like, re-write it and focus again on how you would have liked it to be, visualise it with positive emotions as part of the mental reset (base of the method Balance-in).

It was like magic. By re-writing it, focusing on how I would have liked it to be and associating positive emotions to it, I managed to change “ the feelings of that memory” from uncomfortable to pleasant.

“20 years is nothing””

Looking now at the more recent picture ( the one on the left) I carry on seeing that adventurer, that joung enthusiast woman and those features depicted by the life´s experience and its positive results.. I am the same person and luckily evolved. Those same experiences which made “a better me”, feeling that same enthusiasm but with a new emotional balance, the result of long year of self observation, self analysis and courage. The courage to look at myself in the face, to see that part of me which is less pleasant, to see those inner damages part of life´s evolution…and yes, as Gardel says in his song, 20 years is nothing. The only difference between those two pictures is my emotional maturity. A journey from that young pure essence who felt guilty and could not love herself enough, to this mature woman I am today, ready to search for a new version of “I was once…” every single day.

I choose the new me

I can state, without fear of being mistaken, that running away from those painful events and trying to ignore them without analysing and re writing them, is only a way to perpetuate them, to live them again and again. This is why, without the slightest doubt,I choose to be the new me, I carry on embracing the essence of that young adventurer with her pure and curious eyes; to this I add fortitude and observacion, slowly, constantly, a little bit today and a little bit more tomorrow.

I respect myself, I know myself every day a bit more,I sink with tact and delicacy into those obscure parts of mine, those same parts that need to be discovered with extreme care.

“Life is a breath” these are the words of this beautiful Tango. This is how I want to live my life, live every moment and experience, here and now.
Life gives us marvellous opportunities, the power to be the architects of our own existence.
We have the opportunity to live this material experience personally, to advance with our soul and heart healed and stronger, able to carry on writing our destiny till the end…then there will be a new BEGINNING